Consuming Fire

2010-07-19T08:49:00.002+08:00

Many people begin coming to God once they stop being religious, because there is only one master of the human heart— Jesus Christ, not religion. But “Woe is me” if after seeing Him I still will not obey ( Isaiah 6:5 , also see Isaiah 6:1 ). Jesus will never insist that I obey, but if I don’t,I have already begun to sign the death certificate of the Son of God in my soul. When I stand face to face with Jesus Christ and say, “I will not obey,” He will never insist. But when I do this, I am backing away from the recreating power of His redemption. It makes no difference to God’s grace what an abomination I am, if I will only come to the light. But “Woe is me” if I refuse the light.
-utmost for his highest.

Woe is me if i refuse the light. if i know the light yet turn away from it. what punishment, what can i say on the day of judgement.

God, Jesus, is not about his presence, it is not about his miracles, it is not the good deeds or service that i do for him. It is just all about a person, a being, a God. and his character - his sacrificial love, his holiness, his community, his grace, his mercy......

what will heaven be like.

what will hell be like.

2009-06-24T22:41:00.002+08:00

i hope my dad have a safe trip....

screwed up. to think i even was concerned and, to think i wanted to see you....

and you gave me what?

" No dad then find me la ... sheesh... "

what a stupid stupid reply.

i spend almost everyday with you. and now my dad comes home for only 5 days. and i am quite busy you come out with this reply. what the hell man.... no one talks about my family like this.

if i dont love you... i NO dad also wont come and find you la ....

2009-06-04T22:58:00.002+08:00

I tried to fix it... but it failed...

haha... sometimes you shouldnt try at all. leave it as it as...

pretend that you didnt see it. because you dont even know if its there. or whateverr.

goodnights.

mine (:

2009-06-03T20:54:00.002+08:00

i am falling deeper and deeper in love with my love... she is just so fun to be with. today... she made me do some exercises! haha...now im so tired.

anyway we went to amk hub. and i collected my specs! i kinda like it! its black and cheap! haha... ohwell. i shouldn't have lost my old one in the first place but.... i think both looks nice.

i got a sexy phone pouch now too! haha.... so now i got a sexy spectacle case, a sexy phone pouch and.... my gorgeous dear (:

Money Woes

2009-05-24T07:53:00.002+08:00

i'm offically broke. i dont think i have enough money to survive. damn....

whatever...

saturday... was the day i spent $728 dollars on a bike....
well... i dont really regret it. because i will need it during my university...

there are many thoughts that are running through my mind...

the insurance.... is not settled.

irritating i dont have enough money to spend. i need to save and save...

i lost my specs.... the specs which i love..

okayokay... God help me.

luckily i had someone to cheer me up! to come all the way from her house to meet me... thank God for her...

Parents

2009-05-19T10:57:00.003+08:00

Who are parents? What is your father and mother to you?

What kind of parents do you want to be in the future?

Parents…
I only learnt to cherish my parents abit more when I started to enter the army…. When I realized they have been good to me. Our family did not have much money. So our house did not have a lot of nice items … most of the cabinets were brought over from the old home… So the interior design of the house was terrible. I remember when I was young… I always envied those people who were rich… aww they had a gameboy… oh they had a ps1… while I was stuck with a computer playing pokemon. Haha….

But now I finally notice.. that actually they have been trying to provide for our education and for our well-being. They probably are trying to save enough money to provide for their retirement too so that they will not depend on us so much… that is why our house is so old…. I mean… why wouldn’t my father spend more … to make his house look nicer.. I’m sure he would want that.. just that he can’t afford it.

I remember… this sentence… that struck me very deep. Do you treat your home like a hotel? I wish that there were more opportunities to spend more time with my family. Sometimes I think we grow up too fast.

Today I just heard of a crazy incident about a 21 years old guy who cant stand his mother…. His mother asked e maid to clean up his room cos it was very messy. And e ipod was missing…. They are from a rich family… so he called up his mom.. and talked as usual the mom nagged abit… and he threw his phone down and broke the phone…. He said “This is my room, I do what I like to my room.” Later on he broke a piece of plate… and told his mom I’ll break everything in the house… if you don’t stop talking. after talking to the mom again… and after that.. his dad talked to him.. he told his dad…. If you don’t stop talking… I’ll smash your car. Wth… what an ass. =/
Such utter disrespect for the mommy. IT isn’t his house omg. Its his parents house. He is feeding on his parents’ money and he takes things for granted. His phone, his ipod were all presents from his parents too.. and here he scold his mother for trying to do him a favour…

There are a few things I would like to comment on. In the bible… the one of the Ten Commandments is to honor your father and mother… it is a commandment… becos after all they are the ones that take care of us. As I see Khim taking care of her baby I realized how much work it is… to just take care of one small kid…. Khim also had to endure 9mths of “suffering”? Our parents love us just as God love us. However no one is perfect. They are after all humans. No matter whether they are right or wrong, good or bad parents… we are supposed to honor them… becos we are to learn submission to our leaders.

Furthermore, I cant imagine how the boy’s kids or wife would live in his house, Or how his kids will treat him when they grow up. I believe that if you have no respect for your parents… in the future your kids will also have no respect for you, because you will not be able to impart certain values that are crucial for your kids to grow well… and... you will not want next time your kids to be like you when you try to be helpful to them or you accidentally irritate them abit THEY scream and throw items at you... what kind of kids are they then?

Sometimes its not about being right all the time…. Many of a times… it is the relationship that you care about…. So you try to do all you can to patch it up.. Just a simple I’m sorry when you really mean it…. Will work. Not an msn I’m sorry larhs. Either a call. Or face to face would be better.

Learning to love your friends… and your sweetheart starts with the family, in which how you show your love towards your family will demonstrate how you will love your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse in the future… Therefore, contribute to the family. It isn’t a hotel, they aren’t your servants for goodness sake.

Love your parents and sisters, no matter what they do to you… your parents love you.. except for some exceptions lahs…

Make sure you teach your child well… I always wonder why curfews are said and computer time was banned… haha.. but now I know how important it is…

2009-05-18T23:19:00.002+08:00

why am i earning money for?

it is painful and irritable. star trek was nice that was it.

anyway... just to update my checklist. i received my giro form... and sent it out to the bank.
I also changed my bank ... to signature instead of thumbprint. (: soo now i can sign stuff.. with my official signature.... okay. so now! i have officially 100 more smses! haha... i wish i signed up my plan a little later. so that i can get the student offer !!! grrr.. i want to "downgrade my plan" to the student plan! haha.. i hope i can!

i am.... going to be free really soon. i guess when you are free you start to think abit more...

you know... sometimes... life can be gone in just a flash... in an instant... BANG
you can just die.... and... no one will ever think about you anymore....
i want to be on the starship.... i dont want to get ejected out like jim...

peacee out

let time stop for a while

2009-05-17T01:08:00.002+08:00

i'm starting to enjoy changii more and more! (: it really has alot of memories!

Planning for my future.

2009-05-11T14:24:00.002+08:00

Ntu. you have inspired me. it is not about the distance i have to travel but about the quality of the school!

I shall start studying once again.

Physics. Attempt to try some physics questions again. I must get a few questions for myself to do.. or maybe ask czekin or others for some tutorials which i threw away! haha

Get ready for my ... university. getting my pencil boxes.

I also want to exercise!

basically do my basic exercises! pushups, situps and pullups. other stuff would include running and swimming.

I also want to go out with her.

rawr. so many places to go! so little time (:

2009-05-08T16:52:00.003+08:00

can't we just be friends...
why do you have to do this to me...
why do I have to do that to you...

out of anger , love, frustration, rubbish. hatred... jealously...

can you hug me and tell me everything will be alright? can you hug me and tell me that its going to go away.....

Clearing up my to do list

2009-05-08T08:00:00.002+08:00

1. Deactivate Starhub Voicemail [1]
2. Get the Giro Form and send it back to starhub [1]
2a. Go to DBS bank find out if my account is still thumbprint or signature. [o]
3. Get my stuff scanned at czekin place [1]
4. send esther & josh the ipod stuff [1]
5. Find out what is wrong with my psp [1]
5a. This is either the connection from the batt to the psp or the batt is not working at all.
6. Find a person with a psp and try to use his/her batt. [1]
7. Pay the starhub bill [1]
8. Meet esther. [o]

i cleared up almost everything..... everything went according to plan yesterday so i did accomplish alot of things..

Now this is the key question..... DO I, DO YOU like changes? hmmmm

irritation

2009-05-07T23:07:00.002+08:00

i do not understand.... am i the 3rd party now?

i did not know esther well enough to like her until after the break up...

i did not purposely went to find her becos she just broke up.

sacrificial lovee ~

2009-05-04T23:29:00.001+08:00

2009-05-04T14:23:00.003+08:00

while they were away i cleaned the house and the toilets. I also packed the room. i felt so accomplished after that... but i realised how hard is it to really make your house clean... its such a chore yet a necessity.

im extremely exhausted. i stayed at Czekin's house till midnight waiting for Laraine to come back from Australia...

what did i get from her ? oh. you didn't pump full tank? well if you were more giving and generous with petrol and... didn't ask me always to pump what you use. I would have pump full... Yeps. its works both ways. Don't expect the little brother to do so much... when he isn't working... at least i got a thank you from her when i reached home. if not i would ... be pissed.

ohwell.. I loved one rochester. It was a beautiful place with awesome ambience... wonderful food. beautiful trees! bugs! I don't mind going back again.... the company was wonderful too.

Fireproof was a touching show... it made me realised a few things that i have been constantly neglecting.. it also reminded me about the difference in it.

1. loving unconditionally. well. i have always knew that i should do it. but... i always found it very hard to do... last mth i came to a realisation that our love must come from God becos our love is selfish. etc etc... This also means... loving her when you dont feel doing so anymore. Loving her still becos you are committed and you have promised to love her in good times and the bad and allowing God to help you to love.

2. I understood the fact that God is our creator we should therefore worship him.... becos he provides for our every needs.. the fan the food that we have are all from him... but there was something that i forgot... that was very important.... it was that Jesus died for my sins and that Jesus loved me with a unconditional love. All this was head knowledge to me. but now i am starting to understand a little bit more about unconditional love. About how can a man love someone who keeps rejecting him... time and time again... who can do that? only Jesus/God.

3. I realised i have been hurting too many people in the process... I should have known better. Now i feel guilty and... angry at the same time. Sometimes... i wonder what kind of man am i really am... maybe i dont even know the hidden agendas that i have...

I will make sure it will be the best... and the last... i do not want to hurt 1 more again..
There are many more stuff that i would like to share but my mind so tired haha....

anyway my feet is peeling horribly... i think i have to stop wearing slippers for a while.... I am gonna soak my slippers in dettol for 1 day. lol lets see... if it can kill the bacteria?!

2009-05-02T23:06:00.002+08:00

It has been a wonderful 2 days. of just slacking and spending quality time.
I became to know alittle more and starting to love a little more... (:
Work has become a chore...

i realised work isn't fun at all. what work can ever be fun to me....
what can i do that i can enjoy. that i feel rewarded... and yet earn abit of money...

i made a promise.... and i will try not to break it....
hmm.

stop playing with people's emotions nathaniel.

reflecting ...

2009-04-28T13:10:00.003+08:00

Looking back on my past actions.

I realised the harder you try. the more you expect..
like doing a project. imagine working 24/7 for it. but... after that... realised that
it isnt counted into your grades. or maybe you got a C... what will you do?
is the effort enough? or is the end result, the profit better? or is it you just suck at it?
some times... only God see the effort.... not anyone else. sadly, not anyone else...

i want this feeling to never stop!

2009-04-28T00:04:00.001+08:00

its nice to feel like you are wanted and needed....

i ...really hope you like what i planned for you! (:

2009-04-26T02:42:00.002+08:00

i thought through on what i heard and communicated. i guess.. its a learning process. To me.. i knew why i got in it so fast already. because.... there is always so much to learn so much to understand. You can never truely know a person.... so i guess... just place my trust in you and learn along the way. It is really faster this way (: haha.

Slowly but surely my feelings develop.... slowly but surely... i know that there is only 1 thing on my mind..... and that is.... yeah... making sure that you are happy. putting a smile on your face.

my expectations are probably too much.... once again

random thoughts

2009-04-24T14:44:00.003+08:00

Your actions and words doesn't match up. something aint right.

Im so so tired.... i wish i can sleep abit more... i wish there is a bolster and osim nap blanket for me to hug. or.... just someone for me to rest on.

i present to you a tree and a heart! What does a tree and a heart have in common?

*da da da da da*
*drum rolls*

They have a T in it.... and now im finally finishing the LAST the Ts in my work. haha

Today i was reading ezekiel chapter 2. It talks about God appearing infront of ezekiel and calling him to go and speak to the israelites. It speaks about God sending Ezekiel to speak to the rebellous nation. The nation that was chosen by God but have fallen into sin. After that God comforted and encouraged Ezekiel on not being afraid of the circumstances or the things that will happen because.... He will be with Ezekiel.....
This boils down to the problem of trust. Whether i trust God enough to put my life into his hands and go to do a task that seems impossible to complete. Why shouldn't i, God is my creator afterall.... Why shouldn't i? God have performed and accomplished so many things in my life... why shouldn't i? God loves me more than i can love her....

let me slowly but surely learn.... and grow (:

2009-04-23T15:55:00.003+08:00

friends come and go.... but i guess only true friends will stand by your side

You seem so far away from me...
I cant seem to smell you at all....
maybe its my blocked nose. or my tired eyes.

i want my osim nap blanket and a fan to blow towards my bed. (:
*wooooooooo hear the fan blowing and i remember the phone calls*

give me give me give me! =s

2009-04-22T14:16:00.002+08:00

As I read the bible of God Goodness across the land. My mind couldn’t help but wonder why… I did or could not understand that concept… of his goodness…

As I thought back on my life…. As a christian and the mission trip that I went. I realized how easily I forget about God’s providence and goodness in my life. And many times… I take things that I see or use very often for granted..

God you are the creator of the universe. You made the world so beautiful and wonderful. The trees the mountains … the creatures of the air, land and sea… You create me… and people like me… that we may experience the wonderful times of loving and being loved. You are my provider and you hold my world in your hand. God you provide a wonderful family and house under my head. How fortunate I am to be born in a comfortable place. How selfish I am not to share it with others….

The very backbone of my existence is centered on your breath… Let me not forget it and let me cherish every moment spent in the world, with you… with her.

This is very illegal but.. haha. I am blogging while working. Ohwell. I felt that I have to say this… If not I would forget and miss the chance...

I really want to make it work… I really hope …. this will work out! (:
I think I have no confidence in myself !! but… slowly… I guess… I want my No.3 HAHA!

2009-04-22T13:13:00.001+08:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/glenographer

2009-04-22T00:20:00.003+08:00

I just came back from China... China was really a wonderful place. but.... 10 days is more than enough.... i dont think i want to go back to china in a very very long period of time. But i'm really glad that i got the opportunity to buy damn nice clothes haha! my tailor clothes look really nice! if i got pictures of them! i would post them! one of the things i loved about china was the temperature. i remember when i first stepped into singapore and bathed ....after i came out of the shower i had perspiration ..... oh my. It was like tellinng me ... Welcome back to Singapore!!!
Another thing was the cute cat!! when im not that.... tired i'll.... post some pics of the kitten!

haha... i guess. absence makes the heart grow fonder. I'm so glad i got the opportunity to express out my heart's desire. I love being brutally honest. i am thinking of getting a bolster ! haha. =) it seems very similar to something i love alot! (: haha
Thanks for the donuts! (: really loved them..

2009-04-11T20:04:00.002+08:00

I miss you crazy! (:
cant wait to see you again

RAWRRRRRRR !!!

OMG PACKING

2009-04-08T22:46:00.004+08:00

okay. i need to put....
Slippers
shoes
Toothbrush
hair wax
errs..... pen pen .... where to get a pen!

whatelse.. what else...

damn i cant find my internet banking!
!!! i need to pay 2 bills... arghh

ah.. stress!

okay... i need to put games in my psp and.... songs in my phone.

i miss you! but i guess. i shouldn't disturb you....*ohwell*

anyway... just to show you the pictures of the baby. she is so cute! she is going to be a happy and beautiful girl!

i Secretly took the photos so! haha dont let the mommy know okay?!

She like my wallet alot! she wants the money inside! hahaha

yay she held my hand! haha

2009-04-08T07:57:00.002+08:00

yesterday... was a very important and significant day in my calendar.. but...the most hilarious thing that happened was we saw cockroaches everywhere. like 4 - 5 cockroaches.... it was really a scary sight.

You really caught me unaware.... I dreamed of a better time!! where i was more prepared, where i was ready.... maybe i could have rehearsed my lines! too baddd for you ! :p

gotta go. my alarm clock is ringing, time is ticking.

Can i kick you ?

2009-04-06T19:43:00.003+08:00

can i kick you? rawr! haha
thinking ... and writing ... it down

anyway i think i'm shedding... hair
like i eat too salty things or something? ohwell
so weird.

got fooled ! :( damnnn haha

2009-04-06T18:29:00.004+08:00

Now im pretty sure no bus has a sbstransit spraypaint! Only that bus has it.That means that bus was 1 in a millioonnn haha...

This was what happened, i spotted a bus with a sbstransit spraypaint at the side of the bus and i was fascinated by it. Jolene and lisbeth i mean lisbeth and jolene (:told me that every bus had that spraypaint and that i was blurrr! hmm. i believed them!!

i really had a great time with the guys and with them... we ate some super oily chicken rice... and then we went on to cheesecake shop! haha.. it was really cosy and comfy there. becos there was a minimum order of 1 per person and i thought about her.. i bought 1 cheesecake for her! i realised i bought the wrong cake but.... ohwell! its the thought that counts =x i hope haha...

its in 3 more days.. my shanghai trip.... i dont know i have really mixed feelings. i think its going to be fun but..... i am really gonna leave my friends for 10 days. ohwell. i havent packed, i got work... im exhausted, i need to go out too! so many things to do. so little time.

- i really appreciate you talking to me while i was lonely. i thought we could be good friends.... i shared with you my secrets and did crazy stuff on the phone that i would never do to anyone else. i guess. it was not meant to be. i cant believe it was just over a cancelled appointment. duh.... goodbye.

But i'm happy. becos i made new friends and..... i cant wait to meet my friend in beijing!

2009-04-06T00:48:00.002+08:00

whatever....

at least i tried....

im tired....

goodnights.

2009-04-05T00:50:00.002+08:00

Im going china in like 3-4days. ah. before i even went there. i was bombarded with "requests"
"remember to get me something from china!" haha... so i shall try to remember who do i give special emphasis to.

i had a wonderful day today. a little burnt but still enjoyable. playing in the water and just chatting. Trying to get her across the water is so tough! haha. at the end it rained for a while ending our day. such cheap and good fun! (: lets go again!

ah super tired.

2009-04-03T02:18:00.003+08:00

oh man... i realised i didnt post my post..... haha. i probably was too sleepy. forget it...
i love the sea breeze maybe i should SHOUT IT OUT.....

my Feelings

2009-04-02T15:19:00.004+08:00

I shall not be hesistant nor embarassed.
I really hope she understands....
I really hope there is no misunderstanding...
I am falling head over heels in love with her.
When i see her, my mood immediately changes....
I wish that time would come to a standstill.....
Just to let me enjoy the beauty of her silhouette figure.
Sometimes she is just so far away from my grasp.... however,
If her silhouette is so beautiful, what more the person.

On my way back home while eating alone at chompchomp.... i thought about many things... i also prayed about many things. i realized something was missing in my life currently. It was my parents.. and my sisters... being alone at home does not solves the problem.... It made me realised how lonely i was... and how much i longed for a companion... how badly i needed someone to love me. Especially when dawn left me. I realised computer games, doesnt fill up the gap. friends might have....but it wasn't enough. However it was you that left me breathless. Even if it was just a little .... Even if you gave me just a little i was satisfied ...

I came to a conclusion.... that you are the person i adored. You were the one that made me happy on the inside. No matter what the conclusion may be at the very end, I still enjoyed the company, the fellowship, the laughter, and the sorrow and i hope we will always stay as friends... because you were/are someone that was/is special.

For now, let me say,
I honestly love you.

Was it worth it?

2009-04-01T16:03:00.007+08:00

if you accidentally drink glass ... would you cough? cos i think i accidentally did... from that bottle of drink.... ohwell. My throat is itchy

was it worth it?
i don't know...

Soulmate.

2009-04-01T11:30:00.003+08:00

I decided to write out who i want for my soulmate. To me. looks, might come first for first impressions. but i believe in inner beauty that will radiate brighter from within, that is the most important.

I hope my wife would be like this....
- I want to display the real nathanielchenzhengwei infront of her, and not feel like i am being scrutinized over everything i do. I also do not want to feel embarrassed over different issues.
- I don't want her to get bored of me. Even when i am talking rubbish.... even when i am very quiet. We will enjoy the silence together. We will enjoy the sounds of nature.
- I don't want her to look and my financial status and compare it with other people. Or feel that i am inadequate because I am not rich.
- I wish that everywhere we go will be an adventure. Not something to dread about. Even to a coffeeshop, you will enjoy the company.
- I want a God chaser. I want someone who is after God's heart.... So that i can talk to her about spiritualll stuff rawr!

Most importantly, i want to make a right decision.... many times i have relied on my own strength and mind to make decisions... that are not pleasing to God's eyes...

I remember yesterday i wrote about... friendships and commitments and what i truely hold dear. Day 38, tuesday Jesus regarded the fellow christians as his brother, sister and mother.. Does that mean we have to treat everyone like how we would treat our siblings? I guess. relationships are always important.

Day 39... relying on the holy spirit. What is the holy spirit to me? It is like water. Imagine your very being is a cup. The holy spirit will flows and fills up the cup.
If you want more and more of the holy spirit. It will fill up to the very brim..of the cup.
However, the problem is that the water is living. So it chooses where it wants to fill up.
It is like saying the owner of the cup either has a pump to pump out the water or has a jug to pour living water into the cup.

What happens when you are fill to the brim.... You become very attractive to the thirsty. You become fat and heavy. So you will want to exercise your faith and do good works for the Lord Jesus Christ.

Oh Lord, may you fill me to the brim. May your presence be ever so strong.
Work through my life, make me a spiritually fit person. Let me thirst from you.
for only you can satisfy my hunger. Only you can fill my cup till overflowing.
Let me be aware of your presence with me.
Thank you Lord,
Amen

2009-04-01T00:35:00.007+08:00

When i entered the room,
my sister retorted NAT why you hang the clothes till so ugly!
I thought to myself, whether its ugly or not ... i do not care.
i only care if my clothes are dry.... haha. ohwell.

Some people said im spending alot of money. but... i somehow disagree.
Most of the time I am investing in my friendships, commitments and love.
i heard it on a youtube video today. the things that actually matters the most,
is friendships, commitments and love... and after thinking... i think its true..
maybe money aint that important after all. My 2 months of break has really
been a good time just to relax and spend time with my friends.
Indeed ... my 2 months has lead me to meet new friends... friends that i find to be fairly interesting. Different people with different personalities. I had time to just catch up with my guy friends. and to really talk to them and share my life with them. I had time to exercise and wake up at.... 12pm haha. it really feels good.

Sometimes.... you try to look forward to something. But you realised that actually whatever that you wanted... aint that attractive after all... for e.g.. when i was in jc2... i wanted so badly to enter the army. becos.... i thought it was a piece of cake , (i was fit , blahblah) but when i entered the army.... i WANTED to get out so badly. When i was in OCS i badly wanted to get a staff position. when i was in it... i got a horrible boss... and i spent alot of money on transport and food. Many times, the grass looks greener. But .... if you look at it carefully there are bugs in the grass... the green is the colour of the bugs.

However, I feel that there are things that are important to look forward too... such as.... finding my soulmate. and becoming more like Jesus... haha.
thats why i feel that it is important to invest in lives instead of material wealth.... okay i think it made no sense.. but who cares...

I really had 2 wonderful weeks.... i thoroughly enjoyed the companionship, the evilness and the sorrow. I have learnt how important friends are. And... how different people can really be. Sometimes i guess i really have to think abit more.. before i speak. becos i never know how much it might actually affect someone. It might be nothing for me. becos i grew up living with SUANING .... yeah. but sometimes it might just burst the ego bubble of many. I remember saying "oh but i've got an office job with a 1k pay" it was really meant jokingly but i didnt know there was an adverse effect on that person.

I guess sometimes its better to just ZIP and act like you are thinking ALOT although you are not, than to really burst out and harm the other person.

my money... has started to drop significantly... i am thinking of starting to find a job once again... somehow i am quite reluctant. I am afraid of not being able to spend time with my friends. On the Apr the 9th i am also going to China. haha i am going to meet my friend in Beijing. i really look forward to that.... but i am really gonna miss the companionship that we are sharing...

sometimes i do ask myself whether would i give willingly and sacrificially for a friend and whether it was worthwhile to spend my time and my perspiration.
Maybe once in a while...
but i do know i definitely treat her slightly better than a friend... ohwell.
it has been 4 memorable days of knowing and spending quality time ....
i hope i did enough to leave a lasting impression!

My only regret is not being able to make my mind about certain issues and.... not being about to remember certain things such as *look below*.

I also need to remember honey water in a washed plastic bottle .... rawr..

Taking my time....

2009-03-29T00:33:00.002+08:00

Once again i am at a crossroads... i have really alot of time in my hands. There are many questions i need answers to.
God which ministry do you want me to be in....?
God what is your plan for my season now, and for later?
Somehow i feel reluctant to take the step of faith. I dont know what am i doing? or why am i holding back.....

I also have to choose between mechanical engineering or material engineering... later on! in the future. ntu or nus would be a better choice. i would like God's opinion instead of my opinion....

2009-03-28T21:51:00.003+08:00

it was only a hour. i wish time could slow down...

Today i took picture of my body haha. its not that clear! so haha..
i think i'll put it at the oldest post ... yeah so it will be hard to see it....

It is for training purposes! heh =p

a faint glimmer of hope.

2009-03-28T12:31:00.002+08:00

Would.. you have preferred if i said no.... ?
would it have been better if i said no....
what have i entangled myself into...
this crazy cobweb that cant be taken off my face :)
*does some funny actions*

I will give you all my worship....
i will give you all my praise
You alone i long to worship
You alone are worthy of my praise

My name

2009-03-27T23:27:00.004+08:00

hahaha. i didnt know there would be my name on the slippers. omg! so nice.. the pattern + design! The designer of the slippers definitely knew my style =D

thanks rachel! again. for the picture =D

2009-03-27T17:14:00.004+08:00

I think i need to stop slacking. haha i gotta go and work soon. ohwell.
Today was damn dumb. i skated with rachel around bishan park. when i reaching the park. i fell down! when going down a slope. infront of rachel.=/ i felt so humiliated. haha. but its alrights i guess.
This is my free bottle! i got from rachel! woohoo! im happy.
i applied my antiseptic.... my fingers were yellow after that.

Some stupid random shots that we took.
!!! DONT scroll down if you dont want to see the wound! haha. its nothing actually la. but i still took it.

We ate some really nice cheese fries and chicken nuggets! it was fabulous! haha.
tadaaaa. going off to cell! love skatingg!

2009-03-27T03:13:00.003+08:00

i so totally miss you! :o

2009-03-27T01:17:00.003+08:00

haha my ktv meeting with my jc friends.. it was quite fun! to sing the old songs. even though i can never ever know how to sing a chinese song. haha.. Celest, gary and calista.

2009-03-27T00:37:00.001+08:00

sigh....

A short meeting with joce.

2009-03-25T18:59:00.006+08:00

I decided to try to flaunt my photography skills HAHA! with jocelyn as the model. so yeah. Today was day 1 of my photography skills with my HTC touch diamond! We went to sentosa.
Some are just random photos from yesterday

this is shi han! haha. i looked horrible in the photo! 2 photos were taken after we spent
our pay for yesterday haha

ESTHER if you look carefully. the person is the security guard! and..... THERE is giants vivo! :)
specially took these photos!

I like the lighting for this one?

This was us trying to take a photo on a tram! haha its SO SCARY.... I think i need a better CAM

There we go! not shaky anymore!
Alrights we reached palawan beach! after a SHORT detour! (: haha

Most southern part of Singapore OMG.... i'll continue later.

This proves that joce is a super lousy photographer haha.

Joce is lost in the jungle. she points me to that way. i dont believe! :P compare this to the joce taken photos! horrible! haha.

These 3 shots are quite nicely done huh? its my artistic expressions! hahahaha

Joce eating the island, Joce hand monster.

I refer this 3 pictures to .... saying goodbye.

It starts off with this act-cool attitude of thinking "im okay" later on .... she stops to think about her decision!

She knows she has to look back once again. Just for 1 last time before she proceeds on.

2 feets... tells a thousand words.

dear job i liked it.

2009-03-25T00:18:00.007+08:00

i looked horrible in the photo! haha. esther did too! thanks for accompanying me :)
this auntie was super FUNNY haha. she is very active..... and quite old.
this picture was an artistic expression! beautiful with a chair and a foot. HAHHA
THis is a portrait of esther.. i just learnt photography? so .... to make a person slimmer. take from the back! and from the side...... and from further away... but oh well! she looks slim! :D

I like this auntie alot! hahaha.. she was the friendliest. :)

This was my 80cent per hour job today.
haha..it was enjoyable. and really memorable. i really... gained alot.
i really admire Lydia Fang. i really want to commend her on her compassion towards the elderly and everything. It is never a job i can do... after today ... this was probably all the love i could give in ..... 1 month ? hahah maybe. but to see the smiles on the elderly faces were my $100 per hour. It made me realise that there are alot of better things besides money.... but.... hai...

falling in love.... with the person i shouldn't ......

2009-03-24T23:16:00.006+08:00

my new blog skin... really really tells of my feelings right now....
but there are just so many things that are going around my mind....

but its just so enjoyable ..... to be with you.

shit.. im rambling... maybe im just tired..... i'll probably regret this..... later...

good nights...

VARI NICE

2009-03-23T19:04:00.002+08:00

I do want to show off my VARI NICE picture that i took!
HAHA. THIS IS THE BEST PICTURE of the day!

whee. :)

random thoughts that flood my mind.

2009-03-23T11:30:00.005+08:00

Take care.... i feel so stupid.

2009-03-23T00:25:00.003+08:00

im happier nowadays.... im glad to have friends to cheer me up!

2009-03-19T00:35:00.002+08:00

will you be mine?

I cant love anyone else but you
I cant be anyone else without you.
Change your heart and make me yours
Look at me and i will do your chores.

If you could have just paid attention to me more...
Isnt love about giving the person your attention
If you could have love me a little abit more ...
Isnt love about wanting to be with each other forever
If you could have sacrificed more of your time for me...
Isnt love about willingly doing things for each other....
If you could try to understand how i felt....
Isnt love about empathy....

If i could just accepted you for who you became....
Isnt love about sacrificial love
If i could ... turn back time....
Isnt love about treasuring the time...
If i could shut up abit more....
Isnt love about knowing when to say certain words at certain times..

human love is so damn selfish.

without God...... i guess... that was possibly one of the reasons..

2009-03-16T02:15:00.001+08:00

sooner the better.... forgetting my past... and looking to the future.

2009-03-15T21:37:00.002+08:00

well... today the boyfriend came along. i tried to be friendly! haha.. ohwell (: i hope he enjoys it in church it is always a blessing to have 1 person more in the kingdom of god...

I watched dragonball today..... it was stupid LOL ... but quite funny....
muu chii! - red bean paste - mango sago!
Anyway i ate at hokido hot pot. <--- spelled wrongly! but.... the food was nice! i only took some pictures of the desert! haha.. fail !

my .... day.

2009-03-12T23:32:00.003+08:00

It was really.. fun... Lucinda's birthday! I'm so glad i had the opportunity to be a part of it! when i first stepped into the Ascott Raffles I was slightly terrified. I didn't know it was supposed to be so grand! i ALMOST wore my shorts instead of jeans.. haha it would have been disasterous. so we went up with our beautiful sunflowers! waiting to see the birthday girl! oh oh. even the lift had a card. If you did not have the card you could not go up! when you first enter the room there was like woman at the doorway... welcoming you.. you seemed like you entered a wedding party. or maybe you were some celebrity. :)
anyway.... daniel, ruiwen n me decided to sing I'm yours and happy birthday song to lucinda! haha.. the happy birthday song.... i realised felt even more meaningful when....she was beside us.
It made me realised how much i missed lucinda! [she has a boyfriend so... yeah its just as friends] She was wonderful and fun to be with! haha... always so entertaining! So i really hope to see you more lucinda! we stayed over at that place.. and watch the man-u vs inter match... i totally enjoyed the 2 hours of watching. 7/8 of the time was spent watching with my eyes closed.... i was totally visualising the whole match...

haha. anyway.... i got $300 now.. and im gonna get my .... htc touch diamond! i really hope i get the reply by tomorrow! :) ALRIGHTS

2009-03-12T20:15:00.000+08:00

What is your True Fear? Your Result: Losing Someone You love affection and the people in your life more than anything. Your greatest fear is that one day someone you care about won't be there anymore. You are a very friendly and inviting person, who draws in a lot of friendships with your kind, considerate, and loyal nature. However, deep down you are slightly insecure and unsure of yourself. You couldn't deal with it if you didn't have one of your loved ones in your life anymore. You don't have too much to worry about though, because with a friend like you, no one will want to lose you either!
Being Alone
Where Your life is Going
Disappointment
Looked down on
Commitment
Death
What is your True Fear? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Omg. i got the same fear as esther HAHA..... anyway... my touch diamond is 2 hours away from me! i just earnt 300 dollars today! so.... im extremely delighted

2009-03-11T12:38:00.002+08:00

My current favourite phone

Anyway.. today is gonna be a busy day... i guess a busy day will make me happier.

I wish him... all the best. Hope he takes good cares of her... What i couldn't do ... i hope he can... after all.... I was the one that made so many mistakes... after 3 years she became prettier and different. haha. so treasure her.

It was a great learning experience. I probably have to learn to be less a fish monger. and.... yeah.. soon i can be that perfect man (:

Thinking about life...

2009-03-10T17:32:00.002+08:00

Time really passed in an instant... i still remember... the time when i met her. she was so cute and innocent... she tied her hair in a ponytail... she had pimples on her forehead... she wasn't pretty. but there was something about her that attracted me. (: I guess... people do change... especially if you are not there to hold their hand to see them through... Maybe it was during the army season.... or maybe it was just because of her university....

Army wasn't easy. but it was an enriching experience.. my time that was out of camp was entirely devoted to her. yet... she became soon a stranger...

What is freedom? Freedom is what you decide to do.... it isn't limited by other people's boundaries... I couldnt critic her.... Even if tried i knew she wouldn't like it.... so i let the bird fly, i didnt have time to think... i was busy in the army anyway.... all i wanted was to see her....

she soon .... loved to go clubbing.... (people ask me .... why do you let your gf go clubbing) i dont know how to answer..... it hurts.. yet i know i have to do it...... becos that is freedom.
She went on holidays.... with a couple, an a guy.... So there were all together 4 people.... it hurts... yet i know i have to do it.... becos that is freedom...
Sure there is trust for her..... but .... it still hurts... she had best guys friends.... so many.... maybe cos i didn't/couldn't spend enough time with her. I had the best rational excuse... i was in the army. She became soon a stranger....

I had my freedom..... I think i got a bit carried away.... and i lost the opportunity to know my stranger just a little more... I wish i gotten to know her a little more... a little bit into that brain. But.... she didnt tell me.... she didnt tell me anything till the very end. I guess the stranger got further and further away.... Like a bird... unless we are a flock..... we will be seperated.

Can you love the person that is now a stranger to you? No. Its awkward.... Can you forget about the person from yesterday? No... its hard... The person from yesterday was what captured my heart... How can the stranger.... be the person from yesterday.... how can you love a person when suddenly she disappeared before your eyes...

But i really miss.... the kisses & hugs....
I really miss the warmth of your presence...

I dont know how was she able to do that..... have a change of heart suddenly.... was it becos of the company they shared? probably... that brought forth even happier memories than me? probably.... recent memories are happier ones... i guess its just my luck to ... go to OCS... to suffer... yet sacrifice alot for the one i love.

I dont know when i will be able to love again.... its puzzling. love.
Now, will you be the love of my life? (:

You’ve got the best of both worlds
You’re the kind of girl who can take down a man,
And lift him back up again
You are strong but you’re needy,
Humble but you’re greedy
Based on your body language,
your shouted cursive I’ve been reading
You’re style is quite selective,
though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests
that this is just what happiness is

Hey, what a beautiful mess this is
It’s like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don't mind my nerve you can call it fiction
‘Cause I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
‘Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they’re quick
And probably have to do with your insecurities
There’s no shame in being crazy,
Depending on how you take these
Words that paraphrasing this relationship we’re staging

And it’s a beautiful mess, yes it is
It’s like, we are picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blades
And the kind and courteous is a life I’ve heard
But it’s nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are, Here we are
Here we are x7

We're still here

And what a beautiful mess this is
It’s like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

And through timeless words in priceless pictures
We’ll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that’s no concern when we’re wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But it’s nice today, oh the wait was so worth it

solving the jigsaw puzzle of love.

2009-03-09T09:37:00.002+08:00

I guess i have learnt alot from these feelings. Why do you have to make it so difficult. I needed your attention. I needed your love was it very hard to give your love? Why did you have to share your love... to so many people. Did you know how hard was it to see you going out with your friends clubbing and to just wonder about the possibilities of what will happen.. did you know how many times have so many guys proclaimed that your girlfriend so wild.... and ask me if i had an open relationship. becos of the things i allow you to do. I gave in alot. I couldn't say no... because you would have gone along anyway... it was what you liked it was, what you always wanted.... your overseas trips... your clubbing activities.. your whatevers... Many times... i would ask you for small requests... but you would reject them or try to give me some dumb compromise... i needed your attention... i needed your love. I needed to be with you more often. but you didn't gave me any time. You were so free. but you chose to gave your time to others.. " i kinda got used to the meeting once a week " .... i guess you kinda got used to me being your weekend boyfriend...
So i couldnt take it anymore. i couldnt take any more pain or hurt. I tried to practice dancing and everything.... but i couldn't make it ... because... there wasn't any affirmation. there wasnt any love... or appreciation. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. I try to ask you a few favours. Our arguing made it worst. You just kept wanting to have your way. it was so frustrating... i always heard you trying to argue your way out of things.... even when you say sorry. it was with alot of ... reasons.... and excuses.... so irritating. it made me even more angry. I knew that you will never ever be who i expect you to be... I realised there were so many things i couldn't stand about you.. but i always just closed 1 eye..... ? closed 2 eyes? closed 10 eyes. because ..... i thought it was the right thing to do. sometimes when you bottle them up....there comes to a point when it overflows.... maybe that day was that point. i dont know. When i think of you.... there is only sad and painful memories... all my good memories have started to fade. Yesterday i saw... him sending dawn to church. "I wanted to celebrate her birthday .... i wanted to... i spent so much effort on organizing and trying to make her happy..." but... i guess.... sad memories start to ... take over... i couldnt bare to talk to her... i couldnt bear to ask her any thing about her birthday... because i know its with him. some dumb candlelight shit.... and i'll probably will be sad....why am i so critical over her. well.... louelle says " its because you still care about her and want her to change" maybe i do.... maybe i do.... but i dont want to..i dont want to anymore... i know its impossible between us ( or is it?).... there are just so many minefields... so many nuclear bombs... between us... i know i have been harsh .... but i only do everything in defence.... maybe revenge? i dont know.... im human after all.... how can we be best friends.... how can we be good friends.... how can we be friends... how could we become a couple? I was too naive. i tried to hug you.... to once again experience the love.... but it wasnt reciprocated. there still wasn't any time for me... i guess... i am not important anymore.

here is nathaniel being brutally honest ....

what i really want right now... is a hug a kiss .... a touch....
Will you be able to give me this?

2008-04-12T00:16:00.002+08:00

Probably studies would be more important..
I understand... today i thought i would have dinner with a special someone..
but... i realised she didnt really want to have it with me..
i guess, it was because of studies.. i dont know..
i had instant mee + vege + meat! haha a wonderful combination of
ingredients.. it was really filling! (:

*sigh*

bored

2008-04-08T16:44:00.002+08:00

mms im at the office now! seating at the computer
sometimes there is really nothing to do!
sometimes there is!
but when there is nth to do.. i get really bored
haha. tonight im going for dinner with my whole team
ah.. so scary! cos i dont know my team well enough.

ohwell make new friends!
learn how to interact. its always good next time
when you are in a working world!

building rapport with one another

rawr

my exercise reigime

2008-04-07T21:20:00.002+08:00

im supposed to be exercising now! i guess i'll take a break today! after a long day of exercise yesterday =x haha today, was interesting! i did quite abit of work! im quite happy!

DID YOU KNOW that rapport comes from a french word rapporter?!

saddening

2008-04-06T22:23:00.001+08:00

disappointing.

Amazing grace

2008-04-06T02:19:00.003+08:00

rawrs. I feel that sometimes
I believe and imagine too much,
sometimes my expectations are very demanding.
if you are not up to my expectation,
i will probably be disappointed and dejected!

I guess i shall not put my hopes too high on people.
they always fail and they are never perfect.
Its no use crying or feeling sorry for myself,
what is done is done, move on with my own life,
forget what people have done.
probably forget those people too.
It will be much easier that way.

I will want to learn dance soon! salsa first! (:
I hope someone would come and learn with me! haha

Nathaniel is inspired

2008-04-04T09:34:00.000+08:00

It is just so confusing aint it (: life.

It was fun being able to catch up,
being able to feel e same way i did before.

God and his character.
Today i read "drawing near" haha.
It has been like 1 year and i havent finish reading the book.
SIGH, so much valuable truth so little passion in me!
I asked myself, why do i love God, why do i give him praise?
well, many atimes i say its cos i seen what HE has done in my life
the many miracles. But i feel its very superficial now.
Is it because of what he can do in my life that determines my love,
or is it who HE really is that determines it.

Lord im glad that during these feel weeks of the 10 commandments
i can learn to know more about character
know more about the... love of God
Lord give me that intimacy i desire that passion for you once more
There is non like you

beautiful song.
we love you lord
we worship you
you are our God
you alone are good
you ask your son
to carry this
the heavy cross
our weight of sin
I love you GOd
i worship you
for this was lost
now stand renewed
I give my life
to honour thee
the love of christ
the saviour king

2008-01-01T08:36:00.000+08:00

being so far away from my very love.
it isnt that easy, it isnt that easy at all.
moving on with life as we call it,
brings so much joy, pain, bitterness....
what do i do when i feel my heart crying out for more?
what do i do when i cant seem to find happiness?
it isnt easy, it really isnt easy.
i wish for yesterday, i wish for celebration.
i wish for joy and laughter.
i wish for YOU.

Bring me to that place once again,
where there is love, where there is passion.
bring me...

But i have to mature, we have to peservere.
i have to stand tall, i have to be a man and get past this shit.
So that i can truely be with my love
with my dearest of my life.

this year has past so quickly...
My only regret was not spending more time....
next year i want to create MORE happy memories.

-Nathaniel

2007-05-21T01:56:00.000+08:00

i love dawn :)

2006-02-05T16:24:00.000+08:00

19jan. the day that changed my life? ((:
ahhhs. ytd we had training? ahaha.. luckily it was slack? just that i took t2 with shawn.. man it was tough.. with all the directional problems... we could catch up if we went straight.after that i went to church with lucinda? i was supposed to meet her at 3.30 ? to buy my shirt! but... she came at 4pm ahh! and so ohwell we were late. butbut.. i was happy cos my shirt original price was $35? butbut... suddenly it became $15! wahaha.. i was soo so happy? (:
e service was good.. talking about God's presence.. sighs. >.<
after church me and lucinda rushed down to our class reunion dinner! haha.. sheesh i was ostracized by the guys for a while cos there were no more seats... and i had to sit with my "clique" the pencil box clique hahas.. anyway yeah we took more photos and continue eatinng.. haha.. suprisingly until 9.30 i wasnt that full yet? so i was like eating and eating... till like 10pm till the kubali khan closed! haha.. i choinged ICECREAM and... so many other stuff. >.< in the end i guess i was full! haha.. ooh. something that really made me cool was that chiawei brought a jacket? and liyi a cap? haha. i wore those 2 ? and marie took a photo! woah i looked NICE haha.. i was shocked. (: i WANT THAT PHOTO!
anyway erms... yeah. after that i met her, cos she had to go out to the police post! in e end i went home taking a cab! whee.. i didnt know it was so cheap! (: bOoo!

im caught in the middle of 2 commitments.. i wonder if i can keep both. cos i dont wanna lose any of each.

anyway... im thinking of what to buy! ahhh. so stressed (x

2006-01-22T22:49:00.000+08:00

what do i do to make you love me ?

2006-01-15T20:46:00.000+08:00

ah today was my most sinful day. haha. i ate such unhealthy food. firstly. i ate a chocolate bar my sister gave me? for dinner, i ate kway zup? >.<>.< oil + fat = disaster.

2006-01-08T22:43:00.000+08:00

my training today
4 sets
-15bicepcurls
-20forearms
-25triceps
-10pullups
__________________
additional of 50pushups.
__________________
felt lazy so i just ate protein powder 24g.

2006-01-08T19:13:00.000+08:00

you have been deleted! (: im just gonna be what i am told to be...
-smiles. i was dumb larh.. i was wishing for the impossible. adidas is crap. impossible is really impossible. >.>

2006-01-02T21:07:00.000+08:00

hii blogg! (: hahas.. i just came back from a short trip to KL. hahas.. this trip was eventful? i realised how much i love Singapore (:

31th Dec, 0400
i woke up with 2 messages. ahhs.. thanks yas ? (:
haha.. sleeping on the car with 2 other people sitting on the back is no easy task! hahahs. i slept till my butt was like super pain. haha... as to obtain the maximum pleasure, you had to place your body as low as possible... but your butt still had to be on the seat. haha... and it was very tough for the butt.. as it had to support the vertical and horizontal displacement of the weight.. every now and then the friction between the butt and the seat would be not enuff to counter the horizontal displacement of the weight.. which haha... you can imagine larhs ..

31th Dec, 0945
first time i reached KL like so early? hahas. we set off finding for the hotel. its actually a service apartment. so we didnt know how it really was? we drived with no aim? till we got to a hotel and asked for directions.. the hotel told us to go one HUGE round around like the whole of KL. but haha we had to follow i guess? there was a "noentry" at one of the roads. haha but the hotel said to go that way, so we went... luckily there was no police. >.< haha...

31th Dec, 1000
Reaching the Maple Suite, we were told we could only check in at 1pm.. so we decided to go to Chinatown. we walked to the nearest monorail and bought the tickets.. hahas. and they gave us cards like in singapore ? we were supposed to put in the cards into the machine... not like the ezlink card... haha but my dad was like tapping the top of the machine trying to find a way to go in. haha it was funny ! (: ohwell. we reached the station erms.. majadu...la! hahaha.. i dunno its like super long. and when we alighted we saw instructions to chinatown. walk down the stairs turn right then walk along the temple... then walk straight. haha. i think it was funny larhs.. (: but chinatown was cool! haha.. you could see like many shops of imitation goods! haha.. so cool! i bought a pair of shoes hahas. quite nice one kies! i think i will wear soon! when the school is not that strict!

31th Dec, 3pm
ahh. so tired. we decided to go back. haha.. i realised we would walk alot ? every walk from the monorail would be 15 - 20 mins... ohwell.. when i first step into the apartment.. i heard some wind sounds.. haha i was so scared? i mean... i realised it was the air duct thingy after that butbut... still i was so so scared haha. i thought it was a ghost room or smth. haha.. xP
the apartment was like a 5 room flat + aircon + nice batherooms. hahas.. yeps it was really nice to stay there! it was really like a home you could stay in... i slept till about 6to 7pm ? then we went out to eat. woah the food was good! hahahs.. we spent quite alot ? after that we went to bukit bintang. woah cos there was a celebration there? like SO MANy people were there? spraying the foam at each other.. it wasnt even 12am. sighs. haha the crowd was super rowdy (:
ahh. will continue blogging tmr! hahas... still got 1 more day to blog!

31th Dec,

2005-12-30T01:30:00.000+08:00

Missing someone gets easier every day because even though you are farther away from the last time you saw them, you are closer to the next time you will.

When you feel lonely, look at the sky and know that I am somewhere beneath that same sky, thinking of you and wishing you were here with me.

*nathaniel

2005-12-29T17:52:00.000+08:00

i dunno if i did e right thing... but i know it was really stupid of me! (: hahahs... ohwell.. what can i do to turn back time? lalas.. im using my sister's laptop now! haha. my stupid monitor died on me? it was like... blackout then... smell smoke.. see abit of smoke hahahs.. crazy monitor! (:

anyway kbox with chloe yashu and dawn was fun... i thought more people would come tho? but.. haha. ohwell.. it was supposed to be a canoeing outing haha! :X funfun!
i suck at kbox.. i think the only song i really know how to sing is tonghua.. and... waiting for you! :P hahahs..

im waiting for you...
im waiting for you...
zhi dao yong yuan...

2005-12-27T21:15:00.000+08:00

today was interesting.. after like talking on the phone for like 3-4 hours ? i finally slept till 11am hahahs. i collected my pay with an expectant heart.. to my horror i only got $145 instead of my $190. ohwell. they cheated my $45... my money for jeans! :P hahahs. ohwell. after that jiamin jingbao and me went to eat at china square. we ate quite alot? like fishsoup samba sotongs + desert! hahahs.. eat till we are so fulL! hahahs.. my stomach nearly burst okay! i went to carrefour and buy a toaster. jia min accompanied me.. and we chatted quite abit. hahahs.. we shopped and chatted. it was quite fun! (: I bought 2 new tops too! hahahs.. its damn nice and i love them! ^^ hahas. i went home happy cos i bought my tops! hehes. then when i reached home ? my mom was like.. why did you buy the toaster of this brand... this brand sucks blahblahblah... i was so fedup. oh shheesh.. its like someone buy you something say a thanks larhs... dont come and talk so much rubbish... bahs..i will live.
i hope tmr will be fun? going to SAV for the very first time! (: hahah... fun fun!

2005-12-26T23:23:00.000+08:00

i went to iceskate in the morning.. met up with dawn to go all the way to jurong east. ohmygosh hahahs.. it has been such a long time since i travel all the way to the west... e only times i travel to the west were the pw times.. when all my group mates lived in the west! hahahs (: quite fun la. the iceskating was fun fun! (: but then... my 2 legs are pain-ed haha.. left leg got blister. and right leg still got the sprain which was aggravated by e iceskating wahahas. ohwell.. it was worth it though! after that... i went to eat at wisma. oh man. dont eat the ducknoodle anymore.. waste my money la.. i wasnt full at all larhs.. i rather buy 2 mango pudding then buy 1 plate of ducknoodle. hahas. ohwell! after eating we went to the garden... i was so tired by then all i could do was to pretend i was studying hahaha. >.<
i went to visit my friend straight after that? i heard he had dengee fever and everything.. woah... it was quite bad at first.. yeah.. but he said now he is getting better? and yeah.. so i rest my case! hahahs.. i really pray that he is alright! (:
when i went to meet my friends! erms... they suddenly started teasing about me and lucinda! ahhs >.< hahahs.. sighs. ohwell...

ahhh. stupid dawn... why you tag me for wad! :( hahahs. now i will have to do this funny quiz! grrs..

Rules of the game:
1. Do the quiz.
2. At the end, list the names of 5 people whom you want next to do this, and leaveand tell them to read your blog for rules.

*name someone who influenced you the most this year:
i dunno. the most recent was coach. and usually all you do remember are the recent events? yeps. so coach really influenced me alot. he really taught me alot. i mean he has alot of good values that are commendable.

*name five traits you admire in others and name five people who possess it: (not in order of importance)
actcute- jiamin! hahahs.. i really admire her for this! she is so tall but she still can act cute! hahahs.. usually erms.. tall people cant act cute! hahahs :P calistaa also another ACM aka ActcuteMonster! hehes.
gentlemanly - dawn. mmms i think dawn is very gentlemanly.. hahahs.. really..!
bravery- i really admire Liyi for her bravery ? i mean.. who would want to continue cycling after falling down a bicycle and getting your knee injured with lots and lots of blood yuck! Liyi did that! and yeah.. i really admire her.
generous- i think Mrpang and ms ong is very generous! hahaha.. they keep on treating us la.. ms ong always buy cakes for e team. and mr pang... our intercontinental buffet hightea. i will never forget that unforgettable experience! (:
sweet&kind- lucinda i think she is a kind girl. yeahs... there were many occasions that she showed her kindness~!

*name someone you will want to spend the rest of your life with:
huhh must name arhh! :P hahahs.. later everyone get a shock! i wanna spend with ******* hahahs. :P

*name someone you don't mind getting stranded on an island for fifty years with: if its 50 years right ? i better find a FAT person hahahs.. then i can eat him/her up... and... yeah i wont go hungry larhs. (: well... who shall that be ... calista ? :P heh sorry xP

*name someone you can't stand at the moment: i cant stand! yah. i really cannot stand. i got like a blister on my left leg ? and my right leg is still hurting from the bruise. hahaha. seriously, i cant think of anyone at the moment.

*name someone you sometimes wished to be like: Jesus! (: hahahs.. he is perfect in every way!!

*name the most popular person you know: -nil- duno who la. err david beckham ?

*name the weirdest person you know:myself? or that girl with the funky white glasses. haha.

*name someone whom you find fascinating: clowns! i find clowns fascinating... i love magic tricks too! i aspire to erms.. learn tricks. hahaah.

*name someone you find very attractive: chloe's friend is attractive, andy is attractive ! hahahs.. errs.. timothy is attractive! hahaha... alot of people are attractive laaa.

*name someone who is near perfection: nobody is perfect.

*name someone you'll ring up immediately if something great happens to you: is great something good or bad? if its something bad... i know that time i rang up timothy... yeps.

*name someone you'll confide your darkest secret to: timothy, daniel, czekin, and a few others larhs.

*name someone you trust most beside yourself: i trust almost anyone ?

*name someone you'll die for: hahahs..die for ? i dunno depends... on the situation... i may die for a few people larhs >.<

*name someone you'll vote for the president: okay i will vote for dawn >.< *shakes dawn's hand*

AND YOU GUYS ARE TAGGED: jiamin! calista! daniel! anyone in S78! anyone who is my friend!

2005-12-23T19:49:00.000+08:00

3 days of chalet in a row. It was so interesting. I'm glad i went to the 3 days of chalets. I think i matured alot. I should change alot. i know what to do and what not to do. i guess i was living a life of impurity. stupid me. stupid girl, stupid boy. whatever they call me. haha.. i am that! (:

activities we did during the chalet.
the first day of chalet was just weird.. they bought a bottle of absolute volka. some people got high. i dunno.. the passing of the bottle to the gulping down of the volka. i been to these kind of occasions. what the use of sitting down and drinking volka.. passing it down. i mean... my friends n i drank 3 bottles.. >.<>.<
2nd day of chalet. i went to training early in the morning. haha. i was so shagged but i did 117 pullups.. in like 20 mins ? i think? we canoed a while in t boats and salam boats. hahas. quite tiring. thenn later at night we went night cycling. whoo it was quite fun! (: i mean... we travelled like from pasir ris to changi village to changi airport, around changi airport to changi park to tanah merah to simei to tampines to pasir ris. it was a total of 28.95km or maybe more ? im not sure. hahas. but the fun part was chionging down slopes on the roads.. with no cars? it was really really fun! (: we reached back chalet about 3-4am ? hahas.. fun. i was so shagged.. jiamin and i played like speed. thennn i was so tired that after i bathe i immediately slept. haha. it was the first time i slept in 48 hours ? >.<
3rd day morning.. i went back home to sleep till like 2.30 hahas. they were supposed to meet at 2.30 ? but when i reach tampines they were still there! haha! xP whee. anyway we played cards and ate at changi village again. ohwell. then we played a game. i dunno it invoked alot of emotions into it.. as coach asked us to play seriously. >.< sighs... i just couldnt take it anymore in the end... and i went outside alone to cry.. andy came along too... talking to me and everything.. it was just nice.. haha talking to andy ... tell him about stuff.. and he telling me about his stuff.. i dunno.. crying helps sometimes.. our coach is indeed inspirational... but somehow i feel sorry and dishearten.. ohwell!

2005-12-18T23:07:00.000+08:00

irritation sets in when you are unable to do something that you long for..
frustration sets in when you are just a liability to other people..
sadness sets in when you cant seem to do the thing you want to do..

ohwell! (: hahahs... cool huhs..
listening to tian cong. ah ? wonder if its nice

2005-12-18T22:48:00.000+08:00

ahhs. today was cool ? i mean.. i heard a blind woman playing the piano.. singing songs ... with all her heart ? like it was all she got? it was really touching and amazing like how can she feel the keys... i also saw my cousin, a very pro piano player.. you ask her play anything she also can play for you... she listens to the music and plays by ear... its simply amazin...

2005-12-18T01:04:00.000+08:00

ahh. it has seriously been a interesting week for me? with like the camp comin to pass and the different activities i did. the camp was a great eyeopener for me? i mean... i learnt many many things through this camp. somethings i've learnt before and somethings i've never thought of doing in the first place.
anyway today coach said 2.4km must run 10.15. grrs.. i must train butbut... my leg is now like injured.. how am i supposed to run that fast ? furthermore my target is 9.30 hahahs. sighs! (: i dunno. i really must pia now .. i am quite motivated.. 80 pullups, 160 pushups, crunches if i want ... then run for 1 round around my estate! (: in the morning and afternoon. hahahas.

2005-12-17T22:55:00.000+08:00

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me. Y
ou raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.
There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

2005-12-09T00:16:00.000+08:00

i just realised my dream of marrying early (: hahas.. at 27/28 i wanna get married already? im not sure if that is possible... but.. ohwell! i want to ? it would be soo fun! :D

2005-12-09T00:00:00.000+08:00

lalas... bored. bored bored. (:

2005-12-06T23:37:00.000+08:00

ahhs.. it has been long since i blogged. (: hahas. really missed the blogger page?
my heart has just gone cold all of a sudden.. i dunno why. somehow... i just dont feel anything anymore. i guess its good ? but... i sort of miss the feeling..
blah. i dont care anymore. anyway i miss my pw group? hahas. i talked to jiamin today played pool and yeah.. i missed her! hahas.. aiyo! *oops* yepyeps.. after like so many meetings? of pw i feel that we gotten closer! (: alright i look forward to chalet now (:
ahh. i must must start studying soon.. i realised that i forgotten like everything? everything of what the teacher taught already. really must start.. haa but i dunno where to start from? ohwell.

-nathaniel

2005-11-27T22:40:00.000+08:00

what am i to you.
am i significant in your eyes?
please say i am.
please let me know you do cherish me.

2005-11-27T20:29:00.000+08:00

ahhs. my whole weekend was filled with activities ? saturday went to the flea market ? haha! well sort of ? i guess it was a flea market.. just that it was small and yeps... small (: . okay there was something pretty cool in that flea market. bungee trampoline! there are elastic stuff holding on to ya. you get to goo up very high! seriously it was cool. a little girl was like jumpinggg soo soo high. she could almost touch the trees! hahas. okay so we tried the kallang flea market? while waitin for jiamin to come... we were like singing our stomachs out? when jiamin came, we met with a strange incident! there was a huge puddle in front of us ? jiamin and calista couldnt cross becos of the huge puddle? they were like wearring their nice nice slippers. (sheesh girls) well.. with my intelligence we sort of managed to get across! haha. okay after that reached kallang and lucinda realised that she got cheated. there wasnt any flea market? yeps. haha. lulu was feeling really very guilty. ohmann. :P she got blister too! i wonder how she is now!
after this we went junction8 to go and support the band members. haha we were desperately trying to get marie's / jooleng's / hubert's attention. haha i was too short la. so i jumped up and down! =X ohwell they saw us eventually! we got bored after all and so we ate and went to calista's house! haha. we played like bridge and calista introduced a new game to us, some yahoo waiteress game? hahas. celestine and jiamin was playing it! haha. jiamin at first got lvl8 and everyone was like woah. lvl 8! thats high? hahas. celestine then played after jiamin.. e 1st try she got lvl 8 but the 2nd try... that was the time she became the wcg champion of that game! hahahs. we started playing hearts. playing up to 100 points. hahas. e time we started was the e time she started her game. haha.. when we finished playing hearts she was still going on and on! guess what lvl she got up until! haha.. WCG CHAMPION lvl 34!! ohmy goodness! anyway her dad is so sweet la! after that her dad came home? and i was like hello uncle! haha i think i must have charmed him or smth haha. suddenly he gave calista 50 bucks and ask calista to treat us supper! woahhh! hahaas. we ate like alot of rotipratas!! it was very nice! (: yeah. thanks for the treat calista.. if you ever read this blog laa. after that we went back and played hearts and celestine went back to train for her wcg title. ahh. i feel damn lazy to blog somemore haha. okay than we watch some super crappy shows. haha.. i will tell anyone that asks me what was the shows about! oh oh. i got pictures of me at some wedding dinner not so long ago. take a look if ya want.

http://share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=8AcOGTRwzcOGGg

okay anyway. this is at dawn's request. "4. nat"

5 weird/random things about myself

1. im scared of cockroaches! i mean guys arent supposed to be scared of xiao xiang! haha.. Its not my fault that im scared of them. its just that many of the cockroaches those HUGEHUGE ones sometimes crawl across my feet when im on my computer, i would feel a tingling sensation. when i look down it would be a damn big cockroach with some white stripes on it like a zebra ? well sort la larhs. but cockroaches do flyy! hahas.. once i tried to gather my courage to hit a xiao xiang. haha it flew away! ><>< 5. i wanna grow fat ? hahas. but i dont know how! my weight is always stagnant! im not sure if its gonna increase anymore? bleh. i think i dont enough fats to convert into muscles ? haha. i dunno if the "must have fat to convert them into muscles is true" grrs. cos i want a nicer

now, the 5 people i would like to continue this retarded game on their blogs
not in order of preference
1. jiamin
2. cindy
3. anita
4. calista
5. dawn :P
5. joa

build.. a few days seems like a thousand years without you. (:

2005-11-22T02:27:00.000+08:00

haha. today's training was tiring? iguess. sprinting requires alot of mental + physical strength haha. i tihnk im gonna train up on my forearms.. ><>< its gonna be FUN! FUN! FUN ! whee. 100 pullups aday.. i cann picture it now hahaha ! whee... im excited!

2005-11-20T08:46:00.000+08:00

ahh. my hopes my dreams all dashed in an instant. my world falled down like rain. would i ever stand up again? would i ever be strong?

joshua 1:9 I command you – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

I know i promised to myself not to fall in love again
But I cant stop thinking about "LOVE"
Every time when I lay down to my bed I dream about it
When I close my eyes I only pictured the happiness I had when I was in love
Things are not the same, now and way back when I was in love all those happiness
I had changed to sadness Here I am no one to hold today and tonight, and I ask myself
Would I ever fall in love again? I have no ANSWER to myself.
Once i pictured the special times I had when I was in love
I just fall in love but I don't don't know why I promised to myself
I never though that I will lose her in my life but I was wrong
She was mine, and I was Hers but I don't what the love means to us at that time
I wished million times to get back for her
If only that wish would come truethere will no pain in our love ever again
I had a special time when I was in love!

2005-11-20T00:20:00.000+08:00

ahh (: i hope cindy is alright yeps... canoeing like soo far away >< all the way to sister's island! woah... i cant wait to see her muscles after that! hahaha. it must be super huge.
anyway today i went to canoe despite my sunburnt. woah... haha i think me + jeans + my "hot" bod looks not that bad! hehs. i meann with me so chao taaa. but.. ouch its really a painful price to pay... canoeing wit sunburnt aint that fun ? yeahs.. the shirt rubbing against the skin. grrs. people purposely touching your shoulder! haha. my cousin too! touching my shoulder! :(
oh. anyway today's training was interesting? haha.. we did some teambonding activities. yeah.. my team3 rocks. (: oh oh. anyway i had to rush off for some wedding dinner in kulai?! hahas. it was soo fun! hahas.. i had 3 cans of beer + lemonade. haha. it was nice ? really. usually i hated beer and everything ? haha but i think cos only got 2% of alcohol thats why drink till sunrise also wont get drunk one la. hahaha. but yeah. the food was good whoo! my table was all girls lahh.. < 2 of my sisters and... like 6 more 27yearold girls hahaha. woahh. hahas.. -grins-
anyway i was complimented.. erms.. handsome and muscular leh! hahaha.. not that bad! (:

im happy!

2005-11-19T07:47:00.000+08:00

something happened ytd that left me thinking for a while.

what happens when dreams become real...

is there a meaning behind it? i dunno.

ohwell... im burnt and its painful :( hahas. i wonder how to canoe today!

2005-11-19T00:01:00.000+08:00

i had enuff of your rubbish... sou gou le. i given you so many chances... but you blew it all? how many times must you break my heart. how many times would i be hurt again... do you like my heart to be broken into a thousand pieces, no million pieces than you are satisfied?

____ i hate you and i will never ever love you again.

hahas.. damn shoik! imagine you say this to someone! (: hahahas.

2005-11-17T01:48:00.000+08:00

ahh. i met a japanese girl online! haha.. she is funny and interesting! whee!

i love you

2005-11-13T20:28:00.000+08:00

i love you, do you love me? sighs.

hahas. whee. im chionging game now larhs! flyff all the way =.= hehe i lvl 20 le! whoohoo.

2005-11-12T01:03:00.000+08:00

ahhs.. STUPID POPUPS! hehe. *seenoevil* its adultfriendfinder or smth .. grrr.. so bian tai larhs... i cant delete the adware too ! grrrs!

i really wanna go out with you.
why cant you ask me !!
its has been days since i last saw you...
sighs sighs sighs! *blinkblinks*

2005-11-07T00:35:00.000+08:00

ehs. okay today was interesting. actually i learnt quite alot from church yeahs, today sermon was about abortion.. but the main thing that struck me was that pride, greed, and some other sinful stuff have already taken a lil foothold in my life. no matter how little, it may seem it is still a sin. the number of times you sin in a day doesnt tally with the number of times you confess your sin... wouldnt it be like erms.. bad?- yeahs. it held me thinking for a while... making me feel all so dumb and guilty. ohwell. (:

anyway i dont support abortion! not even if the child is like having some defects ... its still a living thing! its still a life.. and i shall not murder..

hahas. after church i was wanting to go shopping ! haha so i went ?! with czekin, daniel, timothy, shi han and david. it was fun trying out all the clothes.. especially the white singlet AH PEK clothe :P hahas.. it was disgusting! anyway i bought a bag, a polo shirt? and a sleeveless shirt whee. maybe i'll wear it after canoeing training or smth.. whee. im happy!! cos i bought stuff? and i spent all my money! haha. oh i saw a G2000 jacket ... it was erms light brown in colour is of a vry nice material! it is yet formal yet casual! hahas... (: it really looks nice! but the price also very nice! hahahas $129 if i am not wrong! haha... but yeah i shopped for pretty long larhs... haha i hope to get more $$ then i can spend all on clothes! haha. its so fun buying clothes!!

this is to minty?- she wanted this thing! hahas. cindy, she is a really nice girl! (: her canoeing is good! hahas.. really. she is always behind me! chasing after me! haha. ooh this sounds wrong, but yeahs.. she has good technique and strength i think?? (: cindy has also an interesting personality! haha.. but yeahs.. her erms willingness to go an extra mile for the personn is really commendable =p hehes.. i especially like the red glittery stuff that is taken! hahas :P errs.. good luck for your OP , dryrun tomorrow! (: swim,chompchomp,cycle! (:

2005-11-05T19:03:00.000+08:00

wah. okay. my theory proved me right? but... after the training.. i was damn shagged. arghz. hahas.. i really must train on my fitness now.

increase frequency,
improve on my strokes,
win evelyn,
feel so shoik :P
but it was erms... lucky. now she knows how to use the paddle.. im so dead. im just gonna increase my frequency once again.. i slept for 1 hour haha. i feel so so good (:

tired.

to the one and only you:`- i will just wait till you are ready. wait till im sick and tired of waiting. wait till there is no one left in this world. its just too hard to forget, just too hard to regret! silently... i'll wait. -runs away-

2005-11-04T22:57:00.000+08:00

ahs.. okay today was a fun day.. filled with events again? (: firstly we had training? and yeah i met up with minty to go to school.. haha. ohman i caused her to be late! butbut... it was the jam okay! i left the house at 7.45 ... so it was quite early already! haha. but yeah it was fun talking to minty larhs! whee.. she is so crazy! ohwell. erms.. thenthen we had gym training ... then some timing taken for 2.4km. woah. i cut 1 1/2 mins .. for my 2.4km.. it was really a great achievement. haha. yeps. erms... then i had to rush all the way to tampines and take 29 to changi village! woah. i went to changi village hotel! haha. it was nice! really. it gives us the cosy feeling... that nice atmosphere! okay. i went there to do cip? there is a conference held in changi village hotel that is promoting sailing for the paralympics. haha. i hope i spell correctly. and yeps. the KING of greece came and R.A. teo chee hien? yeahs.. it was a interesting sight. we were like ushers, registration people, car park marshalls? yeps.. hahas.. i think it was really very fun! and oh oh! i handled a $28k sailing simulator. woah.. and it was tough being the whole thing into the hotel cos it couldnt fit into the doors. haha. jiaxing also wanted to take the picture of the king of greece. but haha he didnt dare. ohwell! fun fun! oh i always went to sight see? and yeah saw the old changi hospital once again? haha.. whee... HAUNTED ahhhHHhAH... scary larhs.. spirits roam there ? i guess?

okay. by like 9pm ? i was already very very tired.. i slept in the bus on the way back? taking 29 and 72... ahh.. today overall was so so fun.. just that there was a minor cock up! grrr. i lost my handphone pouch!! i dunno lah.. i keep on losing my handphone pouches.. im just like getting irritated with my ownself. haha. im gonna follow what corn said "no use having a handphone pouch la " haha. so im not gonna buy it anymore! whee. at least i solved a problem of mine.

loneliness,

i longed for love,

but to no avail,

i searched for warmth,

but i found coldness,

who do i turn to?

what should i do?

would ever love lift me up where we belong?

would i ever soar together with you on love?

i know who to turn to.

2005-11-03T20:36:00.000+08:00

alright. im gonna tell you about my interesting day! haha.. woke up at about 7am.. ahh.. the alarm rang.. thenn i was like.. OH MANN! why did my alarm ring :( then i went back to sleep. hahas.. slept till about 8am. soo yeah. washed up and played gunbound till about 11am? i went straight to do my surveys! haha... whee... from 11am to 2pm i was walking up and down the serangoon north estate. okay. basically i earnt about $60.. not that bad for 3 hours. haha. ah.. but it was tiring? walking up and down the stairs... facing rejection... and yeah... trying to get my 3 "orginals" first! oh man chinese is soo important for this job. hahas... i wasl ike... errs.. zhou cha! blahblahbalh... my chinese really cannot make it. haha.. yeah. but aiyah now i need to pay back my sister and... my friend ahh. no more $$ le hahaha. oh. something good happened today.. while i was doing survey.. one family was like talking about financial burden and stuff. then the lady was so kind... keep on talking to me! haha she really made me feel spirited. and and when the husband came back he was like... "here you go a drink... today's weather so hot..!" in chinese. ahh.. so sweet of him. >< sighs..yeahs.. thank you! :) thank God :)

hahas. okay. then then.. i came home and ate like A WHOLE BIG BOWL OF porridge.. haha. seriously very big. i wonder how i could finish but i did! hahaha. yeah.. and i did like 90 bicep thingy >< and and... some situps... yeahs.. haha then i went to swim at night! :) ahhs... i saw a junzhang in my club to day after i went to swim. oh man! he was so tanned. haha.. so chao ta larhs! it was nice seeing him.. these few days i have been like bumping into him... ohwell..

-tired! nathaniel

2005-11-02T22:19:00.000+08:00

haha. shant brood over the past. i think i deleted most of my saddening posts! hehe. removing all the sad memories behind and moving foward to a new beginning!! -marches- wahaha

rabbit - thanks for everything (: aiyah.. you know what i meann

anyway i recently just got a job. ahh.. i hope im brave and bold enuff to go up door to door and yeah... i think this one must pray one! hahha.. pray that the person will be kind enuff to do my surveys.. cos i know its gonna take damn long... about 20mins for a survey.... i hope its shorter tho.. haha. ohwell... but its $10 per survey... its gonna rawk! i really hope i get really kind people. haha.

ohwell i got nothing to say now..
signing off! -

2005-11-01T23:03:00.000+08:00

*edited*

today i did some weights ? haha. i feel so erms accomplished! really. its like the first time im being so self disciplined and yeah. :) hahaha.

oh. tmr is pw dryrun 2? haha. whee. i dont really look forward to it tho? hahahas.. ohwell!

2005-10-31T23:21:00.000+08:00

*edited*

i know who to turn to... some friends may act like they really are close to you.. but only true friends will stick with you with thick and thin! there are only a few friends that are close to my heart that i know that at the end of the road we are there for each other.. ahs.

ah. today was chinese? haha. i dunno how i will do? so dont ask me? cos i really dont know! its always a ahhh.. chinese pass can liao larh! hahaha..
oh i went to the world of sports sale? 50% off woah.. i was like very happy. i saw like many shoes and everything.. thenn i was like hey this one is cheap.. 70 / 2 is $35 ohmy! haha.. and so i was like i want to buy! then disaster struck. haha. salesperson, " ahs. only got 1 size this size 7 " i was like ARGHH! no wonder its $35 la. haha. anyway i bought teva slippers in the end lorhs :( so sad right? haha

thenthen i had like canoeing training? woah. i feel so frustrated even though i was number 8th. i feel lousy larhs.. i dunno what went wrong and why cant i canoe properly? ahhhs.. must really really train myself up.. traintraintraintrain. lala.

okay.